I haven't written in a while. Right now there isn't a ton to write about, seeing as I am still living in Ny, loving on my family and friends. Each new day things become even more real, as I prepare to leave. It seems life has kind of gotten away from me. Not that I haven't enjoyed my time over the last couple of months. I have really been intentional with my time, seeing people, talking to friends, giggling with my nieces and nephews, being random with my siblings. That's all I can really ask for is that my time before I go is used wisely, to make memories that I will hold on to when I am away. This Wednesday the countdown will be at 9 weeks, aka 63 days, that is slightly terrifying, knowing that Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years will happen before then, oh and I get to go to Nashville! Life doesn't really slow down, but I love it.
One of the things I have noticed is I have not begun to get nervous or anxious about leaving. I thought for sure by now there would be at least a little bit of apprehension, but so far none. That's not to say when a random night out with friends, or a cuddling session with my nephew, or a giggling fit with my sister occurs, I don't realize how much I am going to miss all of what I am leaving behind. It's just, something is so right about this, I have never felt so sure of something, not even my choice of college. I have been working to try and find a balance, because really all I want to do is talk about my journey, and my excitement and fears, and curiosities, but I also realize, that I am not the only person in the equation. Sure, I am the one leaving, the one headed for something different, and it seems self-centered to think, what about the people I am leaving. I want to say 'i am the one headed for the unknown, alone' but I realize that I do have a role here in good 'ol cohoes, one that I love, and it is true my absence will be noticed, and maybe life will have a new normal, where my added sassiness won't be as missed, but I sure hope everyone is waiting for it to return. I know that I am leaving people, and that it will be hard on them, just like it is to me. Maybe the overwhelming emotions will hit me soon, or maybe not until I am boarding the plane, or maybe not until 3 months in, I don't know to be honest. I know how right this is though, I know that it will be hard on more than just me, and so I hope my family and friends know that I appreciate their support, even though it is hard and semi-life altering on them as well. I am so blessed to have the people in my life I do, who don't hold me back, who push me to pursue my dreams, who trust God enough to say 'go do what you have been called to do, and we will be here supporting you and waiting with open arms when you return.' SO yes, I am working on finding a balance, and if at times it seems I haven't found it, tell me and love me anyways. I just want to share this with you, but I know I can be overwhelming on occasions = ].
I mostly write only when I have something pressing to say, and I didn't have a ton tonight, just random thoughts, but I want to stay connected with everyone. I also would like to ask for prayer. I need to apply for my visa shortly, and praying that goes smoothly. Also pray for my friends and family, the ones who will notice me gone on a daily basis, at least at first. I pray that they find comfort with each other, and remember how thankful I am for their willingness to encourage me in the. Lastly, prayer for the team already in India, and the other interns going with me in January, as we prepare mentally, physically and emotionally. (ps: yay my gallbladder came out before i went to India and yay it went well!)
